The retreat was entitled "Encountering Job: Suffering and Hope".
I don't know if you are familiar with the book of Job in the Bible, but its definitely a doozey! Its all about a good bloke named Job (funnily enough) who "does right in the eyes of God" and then goes through some REALLY bad times, has his friends give him crap advice and then God finally speaks to him, he apologises for having questioned God and wanting to die (actually he does a really good job of describing his depression I think) and then God blesses him and he gets all his riches and stuff back.
Well that is a VERY brief and Ivanaized version of the whole book and because of the retreat I actually know there is a lot more depth to it......but that will give you an idea.
I had promised my therapist I would do more 'self care' and 'things just for me' things and taking time out is part of that. Hence I arrived at this retreat not really knowing what I would experience.
I must admit I have come away from the day with MORE questions than answers about Job and God in general (especially when it comes to suffering), but that is not necessarily a bad thing. In fact its given me good 'cud' to chew over and some exciting things to ponder and reignited a love for going DEEP into His word that I haven't felt in ages.
So apart from giving me lots of questions, it was a great time with God. Did some art stuff, reflection and writing (mainly questions) and reading multiple versions of the Bible to get my head around the whole thing (praise God for my Kindle!). And do you know what I was thinking of as I drove home, I am SO lucky to live in a place and time where I can have the privilege of being able to spend a whole day doing nothing but seeking more of Him and learning more of His word in an interesting and creative way. Because you know there are so many places in the world where I just could not do that without fearing imprisonment, being tortured, being killed or worse.
You know what? The privilege of living in a country where you can worship in the open and freely is not just about being lucky, it carries with it responsibility, a huge responsibility. The responsibility is to be a warrior for injustice and mercy and to show His love to the world - especially those who are suffering or don't know Him yet.
This is one of those nuggets of knowledge that has got lost to me along this path of chronic illness and depression. I worked for a Christian aid organisation and have had the awesome privilege to visit child sponsorship projects, ministries freeing girls from sex slavery, projects bringing food to the hungry and health to those who do not have access to providers. When you are face to face with the reality of poverty and injustice its easy to remember the responsibility you have to tell others and to make sure these wrongs are righted. But when you spend days on end in pain, both physical, mental and spiritual, its so hard to remember the bigger picture.
So I am so thankful for having God break through my times of trial and pain right now and remind me, even though I am suffering, I still have an opportunity to make a change in the world for those who are so much worse off than me. Thankful that I got to spend a day delving into His word. And thankful that He loves me when I am having my Job moments of asking "Why me?" and "Please can I die?".
I serve and love a BIG God, who loves and 'sees' me. Such an amazing honour and responsibility.
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