God is very funny some days, today especially.
I have been hiding from my church family of late. Feeling so low I find it hard to put on the 'game face' and be in public. Actually to tell you the truth, its hard just to be around people, I find it draining of me physically and mentally, plus I have to make the decision of whether I'm going to be 'real' or not.
SO yesterday after I'd spent the day at the retreat on the book of Job, I told God that I didn't need to go to church today. I also had babysat last night for my friends (who had babysat Ollie while I was at the retreat - so it was a good swap) and so was out late and figured I would be tired and sleep in.
I woke up at 7.30am, rolled over and told God that I didn't want to go to church today.
I woke up again at 8.15am, rolled the other way and said I really didn't want to go to church today.
I woke up again at 9.15am and said I wasn't going to go to church. Rolled over to be greeted by a jumpy dog needing to go outside! Then as I was snuggling down into bed I got a text from my friend saying another mutual friend was going to come to church today; a friend who has never been before and who we'd been inviting along for years.
Still I said I didn't want to go.
I looked at the clock and said well its 9,30am and I still will have to have a shower and wash my hair etc.
I got up, looked in the mirror and my hair was fine....not flat and sticking out in weird places, in fact it was good to go!
So I said OKAY I'll go to church, but only if I can get my hair to look right and get some decent clothes on.
For the first time EVER my hair paid attention to the style in my brain and decided to work with the new straightener!
I was of course 20 mins late leaving and told God well I was going, so He better make sure I could get a decent park cos no doubt my usual park right outside the front door would be gone.....I get to church - 25 minutes late - and my park is free!
I laughed - I had to - He obviously wanted me there for some reason.
Worship ran later than usual and there was an amazing sense of the Holy Spirit's presence in the room. So even though I was so late I got a great worship time with God.
Then the pastor got up to preach, about how God loves us - JUST THE WAY WE ARE! In fact he preached all about not having to compere ourselves to others because we are made in God's image and He doesn't make mistakes. It was a VERY timely message and one that I KNOW He wanted me to hear - even if it was just to remind me He loves me.
So there you go - God is funny, He likes to laugh at us and He likes to give us things to laugh at - He even holds your parking spot for you when you are late!